Happy New Year!
Do you remember the last time you felt completely relieved of stress? A time where there was absolutely nothing weighing you down? No matter what life threw at you, you felt fantastic and ready to tackle the world?
I do. It was in February & March of 2014. We went on our honeymoon for two weeks of wedded bliss on the beautiful island of St. Maarten. We got a free trip courtesy of Westjet when I won a raffle at a Mother's Day fundraiser for Wings of Providence which offers help & shelter to women who have suffered from family violence. I literally picked one of the farthest places that Westjet traveled at the time. We didn't really have a budget after the wedding for a honeymoon, so this was definitely an unexpected bonus trip. I hadn't really heard much about the island so going there was a surprise for both of us, and it was nothing short of amazing. Clear white sand, crystal clear blue water, two different countries on one little island, a spot to watch planes literally fly right over your head, and two weeks of pure relaxation. Although we booked some excursions, we had a lot of days where we flew by the seat of our pants and spent the day on the beach or in the pool. We didn't party like crazy and got a good night's sleep every night and besides excursion days we slept in every morning. I came back to work after two and a half weeks off feeling refreshed, clear headed and ready to tackle anything.
As you can see by that date, that was almost three years ago. This isn't to say I've been a stress case for almost three years, but I certainly haven't felt that that feeling of complete freedom and clearheadedness in a very long time.
I knew being a working Mom would be tough. But I guess I never realized how tough! I give props to all of the Moms in my life who've been doing this for years and to those I've met since I've had Kendrick! I always appreciated that it was a challenge but I definitely have a new found respect.
I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and came across an article called "This is What Every Working Mom Needs To Hear From Her Partner". I admit I was intrigued, so I clicked on it and read the article. Although I get a ton of support from my husband and didn't agree with the entire article, there were a few sentences that really stood out at me.
Bingo.
This pretty much nailed exactly how I was feeling for especially the last few months, but I was unable to put it into words. I've known myself for almost 35 years now and have a pretty good idea of what makes me tick, how I work, and what I can handle. I suffer from major Mommy Guilt - which is essentially every time I miss out on a moment with my son or feel like I need a little time to myself, I feel guilty. I've been a multi-tasker all my life and never had an issue juggling my schedule until I had my son. Neither my husband or I work 9-5 jobs and although we like that type of atmosphere it certainly got a little more complicated to organize when Kendrick came into the world.
Don't get me wrong, having Kendrick was one of the best things that ever happened to me! And I am so, so happy that I became a Mom. But I'm starting to realize that having a family, a full time job, a part time side gig, completing my degree, running, working out, blogging and organizing multiple events can be a little much for one person. I'm a terrible delegator. I like to do everything myself because I have an expectation on how I want things done. I have a prioritizing problem. I like to make To Do lists but never know where to start! I'm one of those people who doesn't like the little number bubbles beside apps on her iPhone, so I'm sure you can imagine how I feel when I look at my iPhone looking like this:
This number was at 0 before I went on maternity leave. Because I wasn't on my computer as often once I had my little guy, I started getting behind on reading my personal inboxes. Note that 95% of these emails are likely from companies that I've signed up for their mailing lists, but this little red number bubble bugs me EVERY DAY! It's just another box on my never ending To Do list that I need to check off. Because of this, I also have problems sleeping and staying asleep at night which leads to being very tired during the day.
One of my goals for 2017 is to simplify my life. I'm still the same sparkly, bubbly, positive person I've always been, but unfortunately it's only about 60-70% of the time. I'm looking to improve that number to about 80%. I am very lucky I have a great husband, a great family, great friends and an overall great support system so I know I can get through this! I started to use some of my Moksha Yoga passes on my week off at Christmas, and felt amazing afterward! I need to get back to going in the mornings and starting the day off right. I still have some time before my girls trip to Vegas, so I want to get back on track and start eating better, doing yoga & maybe even doing some treadmill running to get back into shape and improve my well being.
Do me a favour, will you? If you see another Mom that looks flustered, whether she's with her kids her or not, tell her she's doing a good job. I am 100% sure she'll appreciate it. I know, I would! We'll never get tired of hearing it and you just never know - at that moment she may be suffering from mom guilt, been a victim of mom shaming or may be having an "I'm a terrible Mom" moment. Something small like that could make her day!
xo
-Dianne
PS: I didn't write this post to get pity and I certainly have no regrets. I thought it was good timing to be real about my feelings as it coincides with #BellLetsTalk day. Our mental health is important, and talking about it is the first step!
PPS: Winter is my favourite season. I have an amazing spot in my new office where my desk is right beside floor to ceiling windows that overlook downtown and I love all the sunshine that beams down on my desk. As much as I love the winter and the snow, my workouts also tend to slow down. I love running but I hate the treadmill and I'm too much of a wimp to run in the cold (not to mention I'm worried about injuring my klutzy self by tripping on the ice & snow). It's about this time of year that I start to get antsy and want to start running again. I came across the Jasper Canadian Rockies Half Marathon which takes place on April 8th & I think I might sign up. This leaves me with just over two months to get training (usually I start three months prior, give or take a few days) and to be quite honest I haven't run since September. But maybe it's time to take a plunge and have something to look forward to! I plan to make the decision in the next couple weeks, so stay tuned!
Do you remember the last time you felt completely relieved of stress? A time where there was absolutely nothing weighing you down? No matter what life threw at you, you felt fantastic and ready to tackle the world?
I do. It was in February & March of 2014. We went on our honeymoon for two weeks of wedded bliss on the beautiful island of St. Maarten. We got a free trip courtesy of Westjet when I won a raffle at a Mother's Day fundraiser for Wings of Providence which offers help & shelter to women who have suffered from family violence. I literally picked one of the farthest places that Westjet traveled at the time. We didn't really have a budget after the wedding for a honeymoon, so this was definitely an unexpected bonus trip. I hadn't really heard much about the island so going there was a surprise for both of us, and it was nothing short of amazing. Clear white sand, crystal clear blue water, two different countries on one little island, a spot to watch planes literally fly right over your head, and two weeks of pure relaxation. Although we booked some excursions, we had a lot of days where we flew by the seat of our pants and spent the day on the beach or in the pool. We didn't party like crazy and got a good night's sleep every night and besides excursion days we slept in every morning. I came back to work after two and a half weeks off feeling refreshed, clear headed and ready to tackle anything.
As you can see by that date, that was almost three years ago. This isn't to say I've been a stress case for almost three years, but I certainly haven't felt that that feeling of complete freedom and clearheadedness in a very long time.
I knew being a working Mom would be tough. But I guess I never realized how tough! I give props to all of the Moms in my life who've been doing this for years and to those I've met since I've had Kendrick! I always appreciated that it was a challenge but I definitely have a new found respect.
I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and came across an article called "This is What Every Working Mom Needs To Hear From Her Partner". I admit I was intrigued, so I clicked on it and read the article. Although I get a ton of support from my husband and didn't agree with the entire article, there were a few sentences that really stood out at me.
"I have too much on my plate and feel like a failure. Every area of my life gets 60% of my best. That's a D. I'm failing. Wouldn't you look ragged and old if you were coasting through life with a D?"
"That's all I can muster and I know it sucks, but I will gregariously tackle tomorrow and shoot for an A. Maybe I'll fall short (again), but could you please tell me I'm doing a good job?"
- Melanie Okana, "This Is What Every Working Mom Needs To Hear From Her Partner"
Bingo.
This pretty much nailed exactly how I was feeling for especially the last few months, but I was unable to put it into words. I've known myself for almost 35 years now and have a pretty good idea of what makes me tick, how I work, and what I can handle. I suffer from major Mommy Guilt - which is essentially every time I miss out on a moment with my son or feel like I need a little time to myself, I feel guilty. I've been a multi-tasker all my life and never had an issue juggling my schedule until I had my son. Neither my husband or I work 9-5 jobs and although we like that type of atmosphere it certainly got a little more complicated to organize when Kendrick came into the world.
Don't get me wrong, having Kendrick was one of the best things that ever happened to me! And I am so, so happy that I became a Mom. But I'm starting to realize that having a family, a full time job, a part time side gig, completing my degree, running, working out, blogging and organizing multiple events can be a little much for one person. I'm a terrible delegator. I like to do everything myself because I have an expectation on how I want things done. I have a prioritizing problem. I like to make To Do lists but never know where to start! I'm one of those people who doesn't like the little number bubbles beside apps on her iPhone, so I'm sure you can imagine how I feel when I look at my iPhone looking like this:
This number was at 0 before I went on maternity leave. Because I wasn't on my computer as often once I had my little guy, I started getting behind on reading my personal inboxes. Note that 95% of these emails are likely from companies that I've signed up for their mailing lists, but this little red number bubble bugs me EVERY DAY! It's just another box on my never ending To Do list that I need to check off. Because of this, I also have problems sleeping and staying asleep at night which leads to being very tired during the day.
One of my goals for 2017 is to simplify my life. I'm still the same sparkly, bubbly, positive person I've always been, but unfortunately it's only about 60-70% of the time. I'm looking to improve that number to about 80%. I am very lucky I have a great husband, a great family, great friends and an overall great support system so I know I can get through this! I started to use some of my Moksha Yoga passes on my week off at Christmas, and felt amazing afterward! I need to get back to going in the mornings and starting the day off right. I still have some time before my girls trip to Vegas, so I want to get back on track and start eating better, doing yoga & maybe even doing some treadmill running to get back into shape and improve my well being.
Do me a favour, will you? If you see another Mom that looks flustered, whether she's with her kids her or not, tell her she's doing a good job. I am 100% sure she'll appreciate it. I know, I would! We'll never get tired of hearing it and you just never know - at that moment she may be suffering from mom guilt, been a victim of mom shaming or may be having an "I'm a terrible Mom" moment. Something small like that could make her day!
xo
-Dianne
PS: I didn't write this post to get pity and I certainly have no regrets. I thought it was good timing to be real about my feelings as it coincides with #BellLetsTalk day. Our mental health is important, and talking about it is the first step!
PPS: Winter is my favourite season. I have an amazing spot in my new office where my desk is right beside floor to ceiling windows that overlook downtown and I love all the sunshine that beams down on my desk. As much as I love the winter and the snow, my workouts also tend to slow down. I love running but I hate the treadmill and I'm too much of a wimp to run in the cold (not to mention I'm worried about injuring my klutzy self by tripping on the ice & snow). It's about this time of year that I start to get antsy and want to start running again. I came across the Jasper Canadian Rockies Half Marathon which takes place on April 8th & I think I might sign up. This leaves me with just over two months to get training (usually I start three months prior, give or take a few days) and to be quite honest I haven't run since September. But maybe it's time to take a plunge and have something to look forward to! I plan to make the decision in the next couple weeks, so stay tuned!
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